This would only happen to me... - February 2, 2008

This may surprise some people, but I'm really nice. Seriously, people like me. I think I just have one of those faces people feel comfortable talking to. Because of this, the most random people will talk to me. And because I'm so nice, I'll talk back.
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Scene: Checkout line at Target - South Loop. 8:30am (what? I like to get there early & avoid the rush)

A very nice older lady was working the register. She started ringing up my windshield wiper blades.

Nice checkout lady: "Oh...you got the harsh weather kind. These are good. How much were these? (looks at register) 8.99. You know...that's a lot cheaper than the Auto Zone I think."

Trixie: "Um yeah...I'm sure it is."

NCL: (ringing up my Mr. Clean Magic Eraser) "Oh, I love this thing. Have you tried the duo?"

Trixie: "Yep. I have some at home."

NCL: "Good because that thing will clean anything. Especially mildew on your shower."

(How did she know I had mildew on my shower?)

Trixie: "Great. I'll keep that in mind."

NCL: "Cat Litter. The all natural kind. That's good. What kind of cat do you have?"

(Is this really happening?)

Trixie: "A rag doll."

NCL: "Never heard of that kind of cat. But you know, since you use this all natural litter, you can keep the littler box around for when you get pregnant."

Trixie: "That's great. Not planning on getting pregnant anytime soon, but yeah...that's good."

NCL: (holding up my book) "This a good book?"

Trixie: "Well, um...I don't know. I haven't read it yet."

NCL: "I guess that's why you're buying it then, huh?"

Trixie: "Yep."

NCL: "Hmmmmm. Nail polish remover. Pure acetone. That's not good for fake nails."

(I've now realized that she's going to make a comment about everything in my cart and am dreading what's coming next.)

Trixie: "Nope. Not good."

NCL: "Oh...I love these pearl tampons. They just glide in easier, you know?"

(OH. MY. GOD.)

Trixie: (nervous laughter)

I'm just glad I didn't have a cart full of condoms.

Posted by TheTrixie at 12:33 PM

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Comments

How often do you buy a cart FULL of condoms?
Damn.

Posted by: Jason at February 2, 2008 01:01 PM

Fucking HIlarious.... I wish I was there to have witnessed that.. :)

Posted by: D at February 2, 2008 01:13 PM

LOL!!!!
I love her.....people like her crack me up..offcourse thats when I read or hear about them. Wouldn't want to deal with them though..better you than me trixie..better YOU than ME

Posted by: -M- at February 2, 2008 09:49 PM

I was buying that FDS spray for my sister, years ago, and the check out lady asked me if it worked well. I honestly had no clue, but goddamn that was awful. If you have THAT kind of problem, you should probably just invest the $4 and stop asking whether or not it's worth it. Sheesh.

Posted by: Azizeh at February 3, 2008 05:19 AM

Maybe she saw that you didn't have a cart full of condoms and that was why she mentioned the pregnancy thing with the kitty litter....

Posted by: cdnchk at February 4, 2008 09:14 PM

People like this don't talk to you because 'like you' or because you have "one of those faces." They do it because they're bored out of their mind, and they'll talk to anyone who doesn't seem incredibly threatening.

This is also why no one talks to me.

Posted by: reality at February 8, 2008 02:27 PM

"" NCL: "Oh...I love these pearl tampons. They just glide in easier, you know?" ""

I never "get" the naming of these feminine hygiene products... is it just because pearls look cool? I mean shoving the namesake of something that's practically the calcified ulcerated oral canker of a shellfish into a delicate part of the body doesn't seem to appeal to me.

Then half of them on TV lately are being described as "revolutionary" ... WTF is with that? I'd have thought they'd want the opposite connotation... counter-revolutionary... something like...

"Imperial Tsarist White Guard Tampons, stemming the red tide since 1917!"

But what the hell do I know, I would never have thought that marketing shampoo use as the the equivalent of a multiple orgasm was a goer either.

Posted by: Dude Unclued at February 13, 2008 12:37 PM